Life decisions.

Its certainly been a while since I last took an interest in blogging. But recent incidents have kept me from sleeping and I often find myself feeling too troubled to sleep. For one thing, I have been feeling down in regards to my job. It isn't that I do not enjoy the job scope or the money that I rake in. The two factors are secondary to the satisfaction that I receive from helping someone. Right now in my life, I need to find a job and establish a career for myself. Without revealing too much, I feel that I could do much more with my current qualifications and experience - and that I am rotting in my current job.

This morning's discussion was a wake up call when the big kahuna had informed me of my current attitude towards my work. I just don't understand what he wants from me sometimes. Give me some guidance. Give me some feedback. Give me some friggin' encouragement to help me push through this swamp. Sometimes a little pack in the back, no matter how insignificant it may seem to the boss, goes a long way in acknowledging your effort. If not, what is the purpose of me giving my very best when I don't even know if my effort is even being recognized? Self-satisfaction my mom say. Yes, but I can get that elsewhere too. I don't have to do this. But, being the persevering individual that I am, I am going to give it my very best this April and Quarter to prove him wrong. I will get the recognition and acknowledgment that I deserve!

On another note, Singapore has recently been advertising heavily to promote patriotism amongst their citizens.  Being a 'foreign talent' in Singapore has been quite taxing these past few months. Let me explain. The term 'foreign talent' is a connotation coined to those who have *miraculously* manage to secure a job here in Singapore. Having lived half my childhood here in this country, I have in fact managed to fit in amongst the Singaporeans and have assumed the identity of being one as well. I often get Singaporeans come to me (Taxi drivers, colleagues etc.) complaining about foreign talents occupying their land and stealing their jobs... assuming that I was born and raised on this little island. I try not to flinch, and just go with the flow - often reciprocating by churning out similar complaints to avoid being outed as being an 'alien' in Singapore...  What's their problem? What is it about foreigners working in Singapore that pisses them off? We have Singaporeans working in our hometowns too, but you don't hear us complaining about them or even coining them as being aliens or weirdos that down fit in. *Sigh*